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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 1-13-15: Making A Murderer

Steven Avery has filed to have his murder conviction appealed by the Wisconsin Court of Appeals, riding the wave of public sympathy brought on by Making A Murderer. He says the search warrant used to gather evidence was invalid, and his conviction should be thrown out because one of the jurors allegedly said he was “effing guilty” and also because they seated an alternate juror because one had to be dismissed. That last one is interesting, because the defense team actually advised the judge to go with the alternate juror. The seem to be grasping at straws.

One of the guests at the State of the Union? Kim Davis. Are we basically doomed to having her show up and worm her way into the news every couple of months from now on?

Donald Trump was meeting the adoring throngs at a diner in New Hampshire when he was heckled be a woman who shouted“Enjoy your burger, racist!” The woman said she felt like if she hadn’t said something, she would have been agreeing with him tacitly.

A massive glut of people buying tickets has pushed the Powerball up to $1.5 billion. Odds of winning the grand prize are 1 in 292 million, and no one has won it since Nov. 7.

More information on the Cook County Jail lockdown: 142 of the 794 workers took the day off, that’s almost 1/5 of the workforce.

The owner of Piatto Pronto got into some hot water last week when a picture of him wearing a t-shirt reading “I can breathe. I obey the law” started floating around. Apparently he decided to make the statement months after the phrase was actually in the news, but that’s beside the point. He’s been flooded with angry messages, phone calls and even a threat or two, while some people are calling for a boycott of his business. Amazingly, since the photo started making the rounds, business is actually up.

A federal appeals court has ruled that wearing unearned military medals is protected by the first amendment. Basically, they ruled that if you’re wearing the medals, you’re trying to convey a message and that rises to the level of protected speech.

Remember the Pennsylvania couple that was trying to sell their house… that just happened to be the house from Silence of The Lambs?They are having trouble finding a buyer. They’ve lowered the asking price from $300,000 to $250,000.

The Chicago Cubs have removed Kyle Schwarber’s homerun ball from high atop the right field video board at Wrigley Field. They haven’t decided what they will be doing with it, but they say it is safely in their possession.

Verizon Wireless gave a Seattle man a cell phone number that was once Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s back in 2012. To this day he gets raunchy texts from people thinking it’s still his number.

Following up on our “Guess what happens to the chicks at MSI after they hatch!” post yesterday, guess what they do when they have to euthanize a beached whale. Apparently they blow them up.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 1-11-16: Powerball Hits $1.3 Billion

No one had the winning numbers in the Powerball drawing on Saturday. The jackpot will increase to well over $1 billion on Wednesday. Interestingly enough, you could actually buy every possible number combination for about $580 million. Of course if you ended up sharing those numbers with someone, you’d be screwed.

On Sunday we had a high temperature in the teens with a windchill below zero, but there were still people wandering around the city with no pants on. Sunday was the annual “No Pants Subway Ride”, which people do… for some reason.

A Mount Prospect man tried to drink all of Lake Michigan on Saturday. Amazingly enough, he failed. He blames Satuday’s rain for replenishing the Lake as fast as he could drink it, and also admits that some of his math during the planning stages may have been wrong.

A Vietnam veterans family decided to send him off with a bang. They had half of his ashes made into shotgun shells and then fired them off at his funeral.

Gas prices continue to drop. Now it looks like they could fall close to $1/gallon in some parts of the country.

Those new additions of Mein Kampf have sold out in Germany. It’s basically the new Harry Potter. Should we be worried?

Remember the story from last week about the robot uprising happening by 2050? Tesla has sent out a software update for their cars that includes a new feature called “Summon”. It uses the cars autopilot feature to allow the car to autonomously park itself. You get out of the car, hit a button and it parks itself, then when you’re ready to leave you hit the button again and it actually comes to you. With the autopilot feature, all of the cars are actually currently learning to drive themselves.

A guy in Virginia has decided to create a backyard fight club as a way to combat gun violence. He started it after a friend of his was shot on Christmas Eve in 2013, and basically says that if the people fight it out in his backyard, disputes will be settled and there will be less gun violence on the street.

A 3 year old boy decided it was a good idea to drive his motorized big wheel onto a highway in Florida. His Dad was apparently in the head as all this was going down. Several motorists saw him there and boxed him in, but he kept trying to drive away. Eventually his dad showed up on a bike. The kid was fine and no charges were filed against the dad, although he did get a stern talking to from DCFS.

A North Dakota man who allegedly claimed to be Jesus was arrested in D.C. last week after planning to kidnap one of the Obama family dogs. Ok listen, disagree with the man’s policies all you want, I certainly do, but leave the man’s dogs out of it.

Meanwhile, in politics…

Donald Trump says that Kim Jong-Un deserves a lot of credit for killing off family members and generals to consolidate his power.

Hillary Clinton was on Face the Nation with John Dickerson and was asked if her husbands personal foibles are fair game for the 2016 election. She said that’s totally up to Republicans, if that’s the kind of campaign they want to run. I could be wrong, but I believe at this point Donald Trump is the only one who has brought it up. I think the rest have more or less avoided the subject.

Plus, Chuck Todd pointed out to Donald Trump that his first divorce was pretty ugly. Trump responded that he wasn’t the President at the time.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

Follow Keith Conrad on Twitter

Gabatron Morning Briefing – 1-6-16: Uber & Lyft Clean Up Taxis

Have you bought your Powerball ticket yet? The jackpot for Wednesday night’s drawing is up to $450 million.

The number of complaints from taxi passengers in New York and Chicago have dramatically fallen since Uber and Lyft showed up.

Number Crunching: 93 percent. Right now grazing rights from the Bureau of Land Management go for about 93 percent less than the going market rates.

The San Diego Chargers, Oakland Raiders and St. Louis Rams each submitted to the National Football League applications to relocate to Los Angeles.

In science news, did you know that scientists have been using your snotty tissues for years without you knowing it? Currently, scientists are allowed to use leftover tissues from blood tests, surgeries, and biopsies for research without patients’ permission if the patient’s identity is removed.

Plus, an airline flight from the Philippines to South Korea had to turn around when one of the flight attendants noticed the door was open.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

Follow Keith Conrad on Twitter
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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 2-25-15: Get Busy Livin’ Or Get Busy Gabbin’

A man in Naperville who won $265 million in the Illinois lottery recently spent 12 years in jail on a drug conviction. He was busted about twenty years ago for manufacture and delivery of cocaine.

Billionaire hedge fund manager Ken Griffin and his wife are divorcing. She wants child support. She claims almost a million dollars in expenses every month.

A guy in Boston has started a side business selling mail order snow. While there will be some melting in transit, he guarantees you’ll get enough for a few snow balls.

New research suggests that gerbils, not rats may have been responsible for the “Black Death” in 14th century Europe. Apparently the climate in the years and months leading up to the outbreak would have been more conducive to gerbils.

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