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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 1-26-16: Ask The Experts

A man identifying himself as an official with the Virginia Department of Transportation pranked a TV news team in DC. It started off alright, with the man talking about the efforts of the DOT in the face of the snowpocalypse, but then he mentioned his “drug dealer and prostitute were on the way and they couldn’t get it delivered.” Much like the guy who talked to CNN about “Edward Scissorhands” instead of “Edward Snowden” the news anchors just kept talking to the guy, not even listening to what he was saying. They let him get out three different references to his drug dealers and prostitutes being stuck in the snow and never identified him as a fraud. They just wrapped up the interview and kept talking about the snow. PRO TIP: If someone claiming to be from the DOT calls you *wanting* to be on the air, they aren’t really from the DOT.

Rahm Emanuel says the Red Light Cameras are here to stay, despite the fact that everyone associated with them seems to have been corrupt. At the end of the day, the technology isn’t responsible for the fact that the people who installed/run them are jerks. Plus, it generates money for the city.

Admittedly uber-left publication Mother Jones has a pretty amazing piece on Ted Cruz. People don’t just dislike the guy, the hate him with the fire of a thousand Suns. Seriously, it’s everybody who has ever met that Canadian scumbag.

End of the World Update: A religious group that once held a 24-hour prayerathon to prepare people for the end of the world has endorsed Cruz. You can’t really control who endorses you, except Cruz decided to feature the statement on his website. This same pastor also once said the Holocaust was a God-sent punishment for the Jewish people. Maybe do a Google search before you post the endorsement on your site.

Remember the University of Missouri professor who wanted some “muscle” to take care of a reporter during the outrage over their President not doing enough to stop things that may or may not have happened? Yeah, she’s been charged with 3rd degree assault.

Donald Trump sat down with Wolf Blitzer on CNN on Monday. First of all, he said that has joking with the whole “I could shoot someone” line and says “everybody knows” he was joking. He went on to say that Jeb Bush has “disgraced himself.” He also said that he’d like to see Michael Bloomberg get in the race because he would “love the competition.”

Hillary Clinton had a coughing fit during a speech in Iowa on Monday. It lasted over a minute. After Marco Rubio’s swig heard round the world, a staffer thought to have some water within arms reach. But sadly it was to no avail.

At any given moment there’s probably a drone flying over you, watching everything you’re doing. The FAA says that 300,000 people registered drones by the deadline in December. That was before Christmas, so you’d have to think that’s gone up a bit.

Niagara Falls could run dry within the next couple of years. No, it’s not some side effect of global warming or El Nino, they would intentionally stop the water so they could replace a couple of 100 year old bridges.

A Pittsburgh woman was in a bit of a sticky wicket when her furnace broke just as her husband was deploying with the National Guard. So she called a repairman, who came and fixed the furnace. They chatted while he was working, and she happened to mention her husband was deployed. She was surprised when she got the bill and he only charged her $1. He called it the “deployment discount.”

An East Chicago councilman was sworn into office behind bars. He is in custody on murder charges, but was ran unopposed in November, so he was re-elected.

Gabatron Morning Briefing – 12-15-15: Promoting Violence In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

A 7th grader in Texas was told that he could not wear a t-shirt because it had a picture of a gun. It’s a Star Wars The Force Awakens t-shirt showing a stormtropper holding a raygun. The dress code bans any symbols “promoting violence.”

Interesting Stat of the Day: 2,000 books. That’s the estimated first month sales of Marco Rubio’s book “American Dreams” from earlier this year.

Donald Trump’s campaign released a note from his doctor on Monday saying that he may be the “the healthiest individual ever elected” President.

Bill Cosby is suing seven of his accusers. Cosby claims the women “knowingly published false statements and accusations” against him.

In technology news, the FAA announced that all drones weighing between 0.55 pounds and 50 pounds must be registered by February 19th.

Plus, I’d like to introduce you to Stephen Bassett, a name you’ve probably never heard of. Stephen is the only lobbyist in Washington fighting for a group that for too long has had their voiced silenced in the political arena. He’s the first lobbyist to tackle the issues of UFO’s, the Roswell crash and alien abductions.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 10-1-15: Wussification Of America

High schools all around the country are dropping or shrinking their football programs because of fear of injuries and lack of interest. The number of high school students playing football has actually dropped by more than 25,000 over the past five years.

Interesting Stat of the Day: 1 million UAVs. The FAA expects that one million consumer-use drones will be sold during the holidays this year.

A woman who had to bail from attending a friend’s wedding at the last minute got a bill for $75 for her and her husband’s meals. The bill had a note saying “This cost reflects the amount paid by the bride and groom for meals that were RSVP’d for, reimbursement and explanation for no show, card, call or text would be appreciated.”

Mitt Romney says that he will support the GOP nominee in 2016, but he does not believe it will be Donald Trump. He said Republicans tend to nominate a mainstream conservative, and Trump doesn’t fit that mold.

In technology news, Tesla Motors unveiled their new “Model X” SUV crossover vehicle on Tuesday night. Among other things, it features a “Bioweapon defense mode”

Plus, a woman on a kayak trip through Alaska ran into a bear and was shooting video. The bear walked past her kayak, and she thanked it on camera for not eating her kayak. When the bear got closer to her, she pepper-sprayed it, at which point it turned around and started eating her kayak.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

Follow Keith Conrad on Twitter
Subscribe to GMB on iTunes
Subscribe to GMB on TuneIn
Listen to GMB on Stitcher
GMB Podcast RSS Feed