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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 1-25-16: World Domination, Rule Everything… That Sorta Stuff

Video has popped up on YouTube of a very young Ted Cruz saying that he aspires to “take over the world, world domination, you know, rule everything, rich and powerful, that sort of stuff.” This was of course after he asked if “aspiration” was “like sweat on my butt?” Because he was 18. Naturally there’s no context given for the video, but it sounds very scripted to me, let it was part of a class project or something. Just to scare you a little bit about the future, it shows that this just just might be the last election in which everything the candidates have said in their entire lives hasn’t been recorded and put online somewhere.

Over the weekend Donald Trump bragged about how loyal his voters are and said that he could shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue in New York and wouldn’t lose any voters. Judging by what he has said in the past and managed to not lose any support, he might be right. But I’m not sure what that means for his supporters. Every day he sounds more and more like a third world dictator.

Michael Bloomberg is reportedly seriously considering an Independent run for the White House. Apparently his staffers are looking at ballot access issues to see how easy it would be to run. Considering how much Republicans dislike the guy now, it seems like that would most hurt the Democratic nominee, if anything.

President Obama told CBS News that he doesn’t wish he could run for a third term for President. He says the office should be “continually renewed by new energy and new ideas.” That’s just what someone who was secretly planning to name themselves “Dictator for Life” would say.

Chris Rock isn’t going to drop out as host of the Oscars. But he has apparently decided to re-write his jokes to reflect the recent brouhaha.

Why did the newt cross the road? To get it on… A road in the Berkeley, California hills has been shut down for newt mating season.

Apparently a man in Lansing kept a six foot alligator as a pet for 26 years without high neighbors knowing it. Authorities found out about it when an appliance repairman was down in the guy’s basement and heard something move in a covered cage and look a peek. He got it at a swap meet years ago and kept it in a cage in the basement. He fed it mostly chicken breasts, which is not the preferred diet of alligators. How freaked out would you be if you found out one of your neighbors had a man-eating beast chained up in the basement? (Also, what’s the strangest pet you’ve ever had?)

Last year someone tried to put a giant Klingon sword from Star Trek in the carry-on baggage, according to the TSA. Just for the record, you can put a giant sword in your checked baggage with no problem, since it would be out of reach and you couldn’t use it to commandeer the aircraft. But you can’t have it in your carry-on, just feet away from you.

Gabatron Morning Briefing – 11-16-15: Rent-a-Mom

Ronda Rousey has actually lost. That is all.

A woman in New York is renting herself out as a surrogate mom to millennials who just aren’t getting enough attention for their liking. Her name is Nina Keneally, she’s 63 years old and offers services ranging from ironing and cooking to a shoulder to cry on, all for the low-low price of $40 per hour.

Interesting Stat of the Day: $720 million. That was the amount wagered on Major League Baseball in Nevada in 2014, up 6 percent from 2013.

CBS decided to push back episodes of Supergirl and NCIS:LA because they dealt with terror attacks.

In technology news, a Google driverless car was pulled over Thursday for driving too slow. Google caps speeds for the vehicles at 25 mph.

Plus, a Boston woman will be allowed to wear a colander on her head in her drivers license photo.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 9-8-15: Tracking Your Driving Habits

New York City began tracking about 400 people’s driving habits, including how much gas they use, when they drive, where they are, and how fast their cars go. The program is called “Drive Smart” and offers a few shekels if you’ll let them track you. The idea, according to the New York Department of Transportation, is to understand how people drive in the city, in the hopes of solving traffic problems.

Interesting Stat of the Day: 4,500 years old. That’s the age of a monument of about a 100 stones that was found near Stonehenge on Monday.

You have another chance to own a little piece of the Titanic disaster. A letter from Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon is going up for auction and is expected to rake in more than $6,000.

In science news, the New Horizons spacecraft may have a new destination but it turns out it’s not down showing us Pluto quite yet. NASA says it will take a full year to download everything, including the best close-up pictures.

Plus, a candidate for parliament in Canada had to drop his candidacy after footage surfaced of him peeing in a homeowners coffee mug.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 8-3-15: Sniveling, Entitled Millennials

Millennials are refusing to leave their parents basements and it’s screwing up the economy. According to a Pew study there are actually more millennials living with their parents now then there were during the depths of the recession.

Interesting Stat of the Day: 95 percent. That’s the percentage of New York residents surveyed who said they had never taken some action to prevent a car theft after hearing a car alarm go off.

NASA is putting pieces of Columbia and Challenger on display for the first time ever. There’s a small piece of both shuttles, along with personal items from the crew members that were killed.

Poor HitchBOT made it all the way from Maine to Philadelphia in about two weeks before he was basically mugged in Philly and had to be shut down.

Sad news from the world of professional wrestling and cult sci-fi classics. Rowdy Roddy Piper died on Friday at the age of 61.

Plus, a decades-long study has found kids who were “cool” in their early teen years end up not being so cool, and have more issues, as the grow into adulthood.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 7-3-15: Smartphone Addiction

A study says that 35% of Americans reach for their smartphones before anything else in the morning. And 71% sleep with or next to their smartphones. 44% of millennials even fall asleep with their smartphones in their hands.

Interesting Stat of the Day: $935 million. That’s the amount of money the comic book industry made in 2014.

The gay marriage ruling is being used as a rationale for polygamists to try to get marriage licenses. Some believe that the reasoning used to justify the gay marriage ruling also justifies polygamous marriage.

People in the news, Maria from Sesame Street is heading off into the sunset. Sonia Manzano has played Maria for 44 years.

In technology news, Chevy has noticed that more and more people are using their smartphones for things like streaming and GPS. So they are making a special air conditioning vent just for smartphones.

Plus, the New York Mets have hit a rough patch but manager Terry Collins has a solution. In his postgame press conference he said the team has decided on human sacrifice, they just need to pick someone.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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11-Year Timelapse Shows World Trade Center Rise Into New York Skyline

To celebrate the One World Observatory‘s grand opening, Earth Cam released a timelapse video that spans 11 years, from October 2004 to May 2015. According to the YouTube description, hundreds of thousands of images were captured and edited together to create a video that takes viewers from the basement of the massive One World Trade Center, all the way to the building’s spire, which tops out at 1,792 feet.

Gabatron Morning Briefing – 6-1-15: Your Privacy Is Now Arriving

An upcoming update to Uber’s privacy policy will ask riders for permission to track their location while the app is running in the background. They say it’s just a way to get people on their way faster and not a terrible invasion of privacy.

The observation deck atop the new One World Trade Center in New York is open. The new World Trade Center tower is one of the most high tech buildings on the planet and apparently the view is amazing.

Interesting stat of the day: Somewhere between 964 and 1,200. That’s the number of migrant worker deaths in Qatar since they started working on their stadium for the 2020 World Cup.

In sports, it will be the Chicago Blackhawks and the Tampa Bay Lightning duking it out for the Stanley Cup.

In politics, former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley launched his presidential candidacy Saturday.

Plus, police in Missouri responded to a call of a drunk man riding a horse last month.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 5-26-15: Robert De Niro’s Harsh Truth Bomb

Actor Robert De Niro gave the commencement address at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, and had a simple message: “You’re f#%ked”

Marvel has decided to introduce a new character. They’ve partnered with the Florida Department of Citrus to create Captain Citrus. He’s supposed to educate kids about the importance of eating and drinking fruits and vegetables.

A Milwaukee man who had been pronounced dead and was on his way to the morgue suddenly started breathing and came back to life. The paramedics decided to change course to the hospital and he’s in the intensive care unit.

In technology news, the “casual dating” site Adult FriendFinder has been hacked. About 3.5 million members have had their information compromised.

In sports, Chicago Bears defensive end Ray McDonald was arrested Monday on charges of domestic violence and child endangerment. The team responded by immediately releasing him.

Plus, Nine brains were found along a street in northern New York state. The brains were apparently professionally removed and appear to be from either dogs or sheep.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 5-1-15: Going Off The Grid

New York City is looking to dim the lights in commercial buildings at night when no one is in them. They are doing it to save some energy.

Yesterday Elon Musk unveiled a new brand called Tesla Energy, which will sell with a line of batteries designed for homes, businesses and utilities.

A study says that the best way to get kids to choose fruit and healthy food at school lunch is to put a smiley face on it. Putting a cool smiley face actually works better than offering them bribes to eat healthy.

According to a new Harvard University study, just 2 percent of Americans trust the media to do the right thing “all of the time.” 39 percent said “never.”

John Oates says that “Hall and Oates” is the worst band name ever.

Plus, Microsoft unveiled an app that they believed could correctly estimate your age by looking at a photo of you.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

Follow Keith Conrad on Twitter
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