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Gabatron Morning Briefing – 1-11-16: Powerball Hits $1.3 Billion

No one had the winning numbers in the Powerball drawing on Saturday. The jackpot will increase to well over $1 billion on Wednesday. Interestingly enough, you could actually buy every possible number combination for about $580 million. Of course if you ended up sharing those numbers with someone, you’d be screwed.

On Sunday we had a high temperature in the teens with a windchill below zero, but there were still people wandering around the city with no pants on. Sunday was the annual “No Pants Subway Ride”, which people do… for some reason.

A Mount Prospect man tried to drink all of Lake Michigan on Saturday. Amazingly enough, he failed. He blames Satuday’s rain for replenishing the Lake as fast as he could drink it, and also admits that some of his math during the planning stages may have been wrong.

A Vietnam veterans family decided to send him off with a bang. They had half of his ashes made into shotgun shells and then fired them off at his funeral.

Gas prices continue to drop. Now it looks like they could fall close to $1/gallon in some parts of the country.

Those new additions of Mein Kampf have sold out in Germany. It’s basically the new Harry Potter. Should we be worried?

Remember the story from last week about the robot uprising happening by 2050? Tesla has sent out a software update for their cars that includes a new feature called “Summon”. It uses the cars autopilot feature to allow the car to autonomously park itself. You get out of the car, hit a button and it parks itself, then when you’re ready to leave you hit the button again and it actually comes to you. With the autopilot feature, all of the cars are actually currently learning to drive themselves.

A guy in Virginia has decided to create a backyard fight club as a way to combat gun violence. He started it after a friend of his was shot on Christmas Eve in 2013, and basically says that if the people fight it out in his backyard, disputes will be settled and there will be less gun violence on the street.

A 3 year old boy decided it was a good idea to drive his motorized big wheel onto a highway in Florida. His Dad was apparently in the head as all this was going down. Several motorists saw him there and boxed him in, but he kept trying to drive away. Eventually his dad showed up on a bike. The kid was fine and no charges were filed against the dad, although he did get a stern talking to from DCFS.

A North Dakota man who allegedly claimed to be Jesus was arrested in D.C. last week after planning to kidnap one of the Obama family dogs. Ok listen, disagree with the man’s policies all you want, I certainly do, but leave the man’s dogs out of it.

Meanwhile, in politics…

Donald Trump says that Kim Jong-Un deserves a lot of credit for killing off family members and generals to consolidate his power.

Hillary Clinton was on Face the Nation with John Dickerson and was asked if her husbands personal foibles are fair game for the 2016 election. She said that’s totally up to Republicans, if that’s the kind of campaign they want to run. I could be wrong, but I believe at this point Donald Trump is the only one who has brought it up. I think the rest have more or less avoided the subject.

Plus, Chuck Todd pointed out to Donald Trump that his first divorce was pretty ugly. Trump responded that he wasn’t the President at the time.

Each morning Keith Conrad will give you a few stories useful for starting conversations around the water cooler at work. Assuming that your office actually has a water cooler.

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