Gabatron Morning Briefing – 5-6-16: The Crunchy Taco Bowl Heard ‘Round The World

Donald Trump decided to celebrate his first day since all but clinching the GOP nomination by turning over a new leaf from his past of embarrassing social media moments. Just kidding, he Tweeted out a picture showing him eating a taco salad at his desk, adding that he “loves Hispanics.” That’s really a thing that happened on Thursday.

The Cubs were sick of waiting for the city, so they applied for a liquor license to sell tasty adult beverages in the plaza they’re building next to the ballpark. With a normal patio license, they’d be able to sell alcohol before, during and after ballgames, but they wouldn’t be able to do it for concerts and special events. That would take a city ordinance. They are just getting close to being done with the plaza and wanted to get started on the outside booze sales.

Mitt Romney says he’s going to skip the Republican convention in Cleveland. He joins a list including both President’s Bush, John McCain, Mark Kirk and Bruce Rauner. Hell, at this point it would be quicker to list the people who actually will be going to the convention.

A tow truck driver in North Carolina decided to refuse service to a woman because she is a Bernie Sanders supporter. He’s a Donald Trump fan. He said he couldn’t tow her car because she was “obviously a socialist” and advised her to “call the government” for a tow.

As summer time approaches, one Kentucky business is starting a new policy: No sweaty money accepted. Management says sometimes customers reach into their shoe, sock, or bra and hand over sweaty bills.

A good-for-nothing teenager riding a zipline in Las Vegas urinated on the pedestrians walking below him. The teen’s parents later apologized for the incident.It was unclear whether the teen urinated on people as part of a mid-ride prank, or if it was an unintentional accident. Did you know that’s the sort of thing a person could just apologize for?

End of the World Update: A leading earthquake scientist says the San Andreas fault is locked, loaded and ready to roll.” Southern California in particular is set for an earthquake about the same scale as the 7.9 that hit in 1857.

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