Gabatron Morning Briefing – 4-22-16: Bathroom Talk

Just when you didn’t think the 2016 election could get any more strange, today began the Great Bathroom Outrage of 2016. Donald Trump says transgender people should be able to use the bathroom of their choice, echoing the landmark thoughts of the Target corporation. Specifically, he agreed that Caitlyn Jenner could use whichever bathroom in Trump Tower she wants. Then Ted Cruz took to the stage later in the day, asking if we have gone “stark raving nuts.” Phrasing.

Trump also took aim at the planned changes to our currency. He said replacing Andrew Jackson with Harriett Tubman is “pure political correctness” Also, apparently reading from the same talking points as Ben Carson, he suggested that the $2 bill would be a better fit for the Tubby. Because apparently Thomas Jefferson is a less historically significant historical figure than Andrew Jackson.

There’s a brand new trend in Chicago on Instagram: Taking selfies flipping off Trump Tower. Trump did this to himself. If his name wasn’t on it, no one would be doing it.

The number of people shot in Chicago this year passed 1,000 this week. We’re on a pace to have the most shootings since the 1990’s. On Wednesday, 13 people were shot over 14 hours, including a 4-year-old boy hit in the foot as he walked with his mother in the Lawndale neighborhood.

Back in February a man was assaulted outside of a 7-11 in downtown Chicago and he got knocked unconscious and into the street. Surveillance camera footage shows that for two minutes people walked by and did nothing to help him until a taxi cab ran him over. He died at the hospital. How do you not help somebody who is literally laying in the street?

One of Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s sharpest critics has lost his job: Chicago Public Schools has removed Troy LaRaviere as principal from Blaine Elementary School in Lakeview. Don’t criticize The Rahm Father.

There’s a lot of negative news in Chicago right now, so why not take time out of your day to stop and smell the flowers? Another corpse flower is close to blooming at the Chicago Botanic Garden.

Paul Ryan threw down the gauntlet against the big orange guy. No, not Donald Trump. He told CNN he believes he does the whole Speaker of the House thing better than John Boehner did. He says because it wasn’t a job he was seeking, he’s far more willing to empower people around him.

A star high school basketball player in Canada has been outted as a 30 year old. He’s actually an African refugee. How do you not notice that the guy is 30 years old?

Much to the delight of the Internet, the Baltimore Sun quoted a Donald Trump supporter named “Jack Mehoff.” Proving you should probably check a person’s ID before including them in a news article. Hugh Jass was unavailable for comment.

One Comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.