Gabatron Morning Briefing – 3-7-16: Hulk Hogan Fights Against The First Amendment, Brother

Hulk Hogan is suing Gawker for $100 million over the publication of his sex tape. Hogan says they violated his privacy, while Gawker is citing the First Amendment. Meanwhile, the rest of us have to figure out a reason for continuing on with life while knowing that a Hulk Hogan sex tape exists.

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan died over the weekend at the age of 94.

Remember the teacher who was facing disciplinary action because a student picked up her phone and saw nude pictures she took for her husband? Now the student is facing arrest Computer Crimes and Aggravated Voyeurism. The teacher is applauding it, saying that he’s 16 years old and simply saying you’re sorry for something like this isn’t enough. Apparently he hadn’t just gotten photos from her phone, they checked his phone and found things from other people as well.

A bipartisan effort in Springfield is trying to create more safe areas for kids who walk to school. Of course, since there’s not budget it’s not like anything is going anywhere at the moment anyway. If everybody obeys the law, both traffic and otherwise, wouldn’t just about every zone be a safe one for kids to walk to school?

Louis C.K. is comparing Donald Trump to Hitler. Among other things, he said no one Inter Germany thought Hitler would be that bad, “Hitler was just some hilarious and refreshing dude with a weird comb over who would say anything at all.” Which is in fact 100% true about both Hitler and Donald Trump. He does make some excellent points about politics in the United States in 2016.

SNL meanwhile had a campaign ad for the group “Racists For Trump,” which may not be 100% accurate but it uproariously hilarious.

A Florida couple has been jailed for allegedly using a stun gun to discipline their kids. They deny it, but the kids had scars from the tasers. Remember back in the day when parents could use tasers on their kids and the tyrannical thumb of Big Government wouldn’t come down on the? Actually, no, that time never existed. It’s never been acceptable to use tasers on your kids.

Lovie Smith may or may not be heading back to Illinois. They fired Bill Cubit on Saturday, and the Lovie buzz started almost immediately.

Peyton Manning will announce that he’s retiring on Monday after 18 years. It’s not exactly a shock, since he’s more machine now than man. But it’s still a historic moment for the NFL, the man will leave a big helmet to fill… because he has a freakishly large head.

Keith Conrad got his first job in radio in Huntsville, Alabama the day after the 2000 Presidential election when he was a freshman in college. He’s produced radio shows in Huntsville, Milwaukee, WI, Atlanta, GA and finally back in his hometown of Chicago. Currently he lives in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood steps away from the Red Line. The train goes by so often you don’t even notice it. Keith has been dabbling in the Internet arts for a while now, in various roles both professional and just for fun.

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